I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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