maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
