Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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