do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
is it fun? or sober?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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