I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
