Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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