I smell stomach acid.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
