He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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