I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have tasted many bathrooms
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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