Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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