I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
