I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
