I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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