Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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