After last night, I could never be a politician.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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