I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
