Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize