I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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