How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
