Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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