just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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