If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think my moral compass just broke
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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