hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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