quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
