Your tits are I can't wait for
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sorry my hands just texted you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
