Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My penis needs a shock collar
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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