my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
