it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
