Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
