i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Small penises have feelings too.
Four minutes until I can fart!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
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I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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