Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize