I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
