She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I've blown a few things in my day
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize