Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
