More tranny stories later!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
