you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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