He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
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There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!