i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head