Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....