idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I understand Curling. That high.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
