I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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