Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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