Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
