...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
