You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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