I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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