Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're a waste of cheezeits
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
