You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
