What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
