So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
