What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
