Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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