You're my little dorito
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
