Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
