i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize