Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
