I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Damn victory sex feels great
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
