Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
