Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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