Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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