Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
