I just cut my nipple shaving
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I supernannyed him into submission
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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