remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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