that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
