i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
