At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
