when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
