i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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